Dating is a Privilege

I used to believe that in order to date someone, I had to know within the initial 34 minutes of our first hang-out if I was going to marry them or not. I read somewhere once that you’re supposed to know in the first 34 minutes. I don’t know who said it, but looking back I would like to egg their house. Mock me if you wish, but you know […]


Learning to Grow Roots

The cold bit through my bare legs as I sat on the curb, a silhouetted form illuminated in the cold glow of the neighborhood street lamps. I had no idea why I was sitting outside in the dark, becoming one with the shadows. It felt ridiculous to be crying on a suburban curb, but a hidden subconscious pain had crept in, unwanted and uninvited. Despite the embarrassment I felt, an […]


When You Know, You Just Know

“He’s the one. I just know it!” my friend exclaimed over lunch. I felt my jaw begin to clench, noticing how my teeth were beginning to grind at such a radical statement. I almost snorted, so it was probably for the best that my instinctual response was trapped behind a case of lock-jaw. I chose my next words carefully, trying not to choke on my sandwich, “But…haven’t you guys only […]


Just a Girl. Just a Boy.

I’m not a fan of dating. Nor am I its poster child. My current position on dating? It’s awkward. Who texts first? How many days do you wait before seeing each other again? What do you wear? I’ve been on some very sweet, well-planned dates and I’ve been on other dates that have been frustrating, to say the least. But there comes a point in a string a thoughtful and […]


A Time to be Honest About Pain

“So we’ve talked about school and boys now let’s talk about God. How have you and God been?” It may have been easier to speak if she had asked, “How are you?” or, “How have you been?” But she was specific about everything. She really wanted to know. So for the second time in only a couple of days I had the chance to be vulnerable and honest with a […]


Killing the Cool Girl

“You really act more like a dude anyway.” I remember the first time one of my male friends told me I was “one of the guys”. I was in 7th grade and we were at youth group playing knock-out as other kids threw dodgeballs behind us on the basketball court. I stopped dribbling for a minute and blinked, confused, but not upset. Was I more like a “dude”? I had never […]


Dude, She Friend-Zoned You

“Dude, she friend zoned you.” It was almost autumn. Summer’s sweltering humidity had departed. New York’s weather was cool – perfect for leather jackets and jeans. A buddy and I had been hanging out with a girl and her friend for awhile. It started with great conversations, then mini golfing and going over to their apartment to make dinner. The four of us hung out several times and it felt like there was some chemistry. I was planning […]


People Over Projects

I like lists. Like a lot. Perhaps that’s a weird statement, especially coming out of the mouth of very Type-B personality, but allow me to elaborate. I like crossing things off of massive to-do lists. I color coordinate them, and if you show even an ounce of interest in my day planner, get ready to listen to the explanation of all my pen colors and highlighters for the next five […]


Surrendering Your Love Story

For a pursuit to work, both your hearts have to be open. All my life God has been pursuing me, but it wasn’t until I opened my heart to Him, that my heart could be romanced and won. In the same way, for a man to keep pursuing a woman —for a heart to be won, her heart has to be able to be romanced.   She has to be […]


Since When is it Cool to be Aloof?

I trudged through the piling snow on the Ohio sidewalk, inwardly cursing myself for not wearing two pairs of socks. Luckily I was almost to the local coffee shop where I was to meet one of my long-time friends. It was our tradition to hole-up in the cozy atmosphere and catch one another up on life until there was nothing but cold dregs left in the bottom of ceramic cups. […]