In the Desert Season

Two months ago, I packed up my faithful Honda for what seemed like the hundredth time, said goodbye to the Florida life I loved, and drove across the country to California. Since then, the majority of the past fifty-seven days have been filled with a strong-willed desperation to find my “new calling”. Without a job to walk into upon my West Coast arrival, I found myself monotonously rearranging furniture, painting […]

 

Unashamed Womanhood

“I’m doing pink and purple! I am not ashamed to be a woman!” One of the professors I work for as a Graduate Assistant made this declaration after we had spent a solid ten minutes deciding what colors she would use to divide each section of her work binder that she was required to hand in to be awarded tenure. Blue and green looks professional. Maybe yellow, it’s a neutral […]

 

Modern Heroics & the Tragedy of the Beauty Movement

I grew up with a grandmother who had facial paralysis due to an advanced brain tumor a few years prior to my birth. She had had surgery that caused the left side of her face to droop, her eye to lose function and subsequently be sown shut to avoid visual disorientation as her ocular muscles attempted with futility to fight gravity. She always made jokes and referred to her appearance […]

 

Three-Legged Dogs in The Land of Want

I glanced down at the floor of my litter-strewn car, noticing not for the first time the photoshopped face of a realtor smiling up at me from a flyer advertising yet another apartment I couldn’t afford. I sighed, silently reminding myself that it was time to shovel the trash out of my car. I couldn’t be reminded every time drove anywhere that by Southern California standards, I was basically poor. […]

 

Records on Repeat

They were bad eggs. At least that’s what I told my family when they found the entire sheet cake I had just baked in the trash can. Obviously, I explained, I was looking out for their best interest and health, and so naturally if there was any question about the contents of that cake it just had to go. That wasn’t the first time they had found my food in […]

 

Planning for the Unplanned

I’ve had some brilliant plans for my life. Finish high school, go to college, get my degree, travel the world, get a book published, star in my very own melodrama, own a baby elephant, break the world record for number of cartwheels done in a row, be in a Harry Potter movie, fall in love, get married… All before the ripe age of twenty-three, of course. The issue with my […]

 

Living Out Your Worth

As her eyes welled with tears, she courageously shared the part of her past that still breaks her heart. I don’t know, we were just so young. It’s dumb but I thought sleeping with him would make him stay. Now we don’t even talk. I just want that part of me back, but I can’t have that now. In every tear that escaped down her face I saw pieces of […]

 

So, You're Not a Virgin...

As I dove deep into the world of Christian writers and speakers over the past few years, it became painfully obvious that there exists a divide between sons and daughters of Christ over issues like sexuality, modesty, and the holy v-word — Virginity. At 27 years old, I still turn red and tear up when I hear someone on a stage denounce the loss of virginity and praise purity.  Don’t […]

 

Valentine's Day

I opened the door, expecting flowers, chocolate…something. As the cold air hit me in the face, I took him in, quickly doing a mental inventory of the fact that he actually had nothing in his hands. But…it’s Valentine’s Day…he wouldn’t have not brought anything right? It was probably in his car. After a mediocre dinner and a drug store card that had been sitting on the front seat, I felt […]

 

Vulnerability Remorse

I climbed into my car, sliding across the front seat and slamming the door simultaneously. It was a foggy evening and the marine layer that hung in the air over Pacific coastal towns had left its mark all over my car windshield. I sighed, turning the key in the ignition. I had fun… I think I had fun? No…I had fun. But then why did I feel so unsettled? Why […]