For a pursuit to work, both your hearts have to be open.

All my life God has been pursuing me, but it wasn’t until I opened my heart to Him, that my heart could be romanced and won.

In the same way, for a man to keep pursuing a woman —for a heart to be won, her heart has to be able to be romanced.   She has to be open to his way of pursuing her heart.

It’s not like she’s giving control of her life to him, she’s simply saying: “I’m willing to set aside how I thought I wanted things to happen, and figure out how to do this together.”

Often it seems we have such a concrete idea of how our story should go, we’re not open to anything else.

What we want to happen gets in the way of what needs to happen. How we want things to take place is often influence by our culture and our world. For instance, meeting “the one” in a fairy tale setting- like in a coffee shop, airport, or in Central Park. Or only allowing yourself to go out on a date with someone that looks like a model from Pinterest.

Maybe you’re so concerned with controlling your story that you’re missing the story unfolding right in front of you. The worst is when you’ve already penned out your love story- as if you have perfect knowledge of how it should go.

When we write our own stories, we’re placing God in the box. Instead, the most important thing is having an open hand, taking our desires to God, and surrendering the “how” but keeping the “why”. Why you like someone is so much more important than how you came together. God has a reputation for reaching across time and space, taking the insignificant and forging stories with the pen of Grace. So stop saying, “God, it has to happen like this. I have to meet this person here, and they have to look like this, and this is how it has to be.” Instead say, “God here is my desire, take it, step into my future and arrange my life. Keep my heart open to your way and your process.”

Here’s the trick: God’s way is usually what we desired all along, we just don’t see it until we choose it. From James 4 (MSG), The proverb says, “He’s a fiercely jealous lover.” And what He gives in love is far better than anything else you’ll find. It’s common knowledge that “God goes against the willful proud; God gives grace to the willing humble.”


Photo by Josh Neuroth

Josh Neuroth

Josh grew up on a farm in Michigan. After finishing college in Ohio, he moved to New York City. He works at the intersection of design, technology, and storytelling. Moments that involve adventures, coffee, and photography are high on the list. Josh writes posts on his iPhone because it allows him to take advantage of subway commutes. It also forces him to stop rambling on countless side topics, something he may or may not be famous for. Read more about Josh in the "Our Team" section of She Has Worth.

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