Flashback to August 9th, 2012. I packed up all I could fit into my Honda, said bye to all I had known, and hit the road. I decided to move 10 hours away to sunny Florida to fix my damaged heart and to set out on a journey to find myself. I left my comfort zone, my family, my friends, my job, and where everything was handed to me. I finally decided instead of avoiding change, I was going to embrace it for the first time. I spent my whole life avoiding it, trying to change everyone else but myself and I finally wanted to let change in.
It was really awkward at first, dealing with so many things I had put off for so long, but it was a start. With a little time and effort, change started changing me. It became easier and more natural to let happen. When things in my life and in my heart started to change, as a human being, I wanted to hold onto the familiar. You know the things we get attached to and tied up in? Sometimes in order to let change happen, we have to let go and sometimes even say goodbye to the things that bring us down our steal our attention. And in my case, I let them go but I also replaced the resulting void with more fruitful and good ventures.
I intentionally sought out moments to be thankful. I stopped setting my eyes on my circumstances and set them on the good, the joyful. I started counting the “happies”. I realized that when I have a heart full of thanks, I allowed myself to turn my eyes to always be on the lookout to spot the good moments, to find adventures in everyday activities. Even amidst messiness and trials, thankfulness really does make the fight easier. Being thankful changes us.
Fast-forward to August 1st, 2013. After a year of constant growing and learning, I work up the bravery to follow my dreams. With my heart full of love for others and a soul that aches to wander this earth, I have my dreams set upon becoming a flight attendant. After three months, I finally get the news I am a hired American Airlines flight attendant. Within the New Year I will be moving to Dallas, Texas for training, and then after I could be moving to who-knows-where to live and follow my dreams. A new season of change is calling my name.
And with that, I remember the timid me a year ago pulling out of my driveway crying my eyes out because I was terrified to let change happen. What if I fell flat on my face? What if it’s a huge mistake? What if I ended up worse than I already was? But you see, change and a heart of thankfulness have now taught me to answer those questions differently. Now it’s more like: What if I do fall flat on my face? I wonder what lessons I will learn and how much I will grow. What if it’s a huge mistake? I wonder what blessings will grow out of it. I can picture all the relationships that will be built because I didn’t make the best decision. What if I end up worse that I already was? I wonder how this trial is growing to grow me and make me into the person I am called to be.
That’s the thing about change we have to realize from the start: change changes us.
So if you are reading this and you feel like I did when I first pulled out of my driveway, scared and uncertain of what’s to come, that’s okay. Because somewhere in the midst of all the messiness and awkwardness that comes from transitioning, you grow. And you learn. All it takes is a little willingness in your heart. So allow yourself room to grow, and to let change in. It’s scary changing, embracing new seasons, growing and following your dreams, but know you are not alone.
In the end, change is always worth it.