Contrary to the popular message in American culture, you cannot be anyone you want to be. A whole generation of boys were raised on a message “be like Mike” (Michael Jordan), while a generation of girls were raised on “be like Britney.” Some of us need to accept that we’ll never be a famous super model, a celebrity pop star, or even a pro-athlete.
But you can become a much better version of who you are already. You can be an original.
“Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.” ― Oscar Wilde
It’s interesting. Everywhere I look originals are making headway because the world craves originality. It’s magnetic. Every trend in fashion, business, film, or anything starts from someone who dared to be themselves.
There are really two kinds of people in the world: 1) People living as originals 2) Everyone else who is copying the originals.
Which one are you? Which one do you want to be?
Psalm 139:13-17 states that God shaped you inside and out, He intricately formed you in the secret place. He “curiously wrought” you, meaning that He used exquisite craftsmanship in making you a unique piece of art. “In Your book all the days [of my life] were written before ever they took shape…” He planned a meaningful life for you.
God designed you to be an original. He gave you a unique personality, unique gifts, and at the core of all else, unique desires. Your uniqueness enables you to be the best in the world at something- you being you, thriving in your uniqueness. But you have to figure out what makes you unique. That means you’re going to have a live a little, take some risks, follow the desires God placed in your heart. Find out what make you come alive, and then go do that!
As you discover who God made you to be and start living it, you are going to become super magnetic. And that also means you’re going to become super attractive to the opposite sex. More on that later.
In high school, I was sometimes discouraged because every girl said they wanted to date a “funny guy”. Most people don’t know me as funny. My humor is often complex, ironic, and goofy; not necessarily something people see right away. I literally thought something was wrong with me…But I learned that if I embrace my uniqueness, it can work for me.
Our culture puts much pressure on women to be and look a certain way, to be beautiful as defined by someone in a Madison Avenue advertising agency.
Above all physical beauty, there is nothing more attractive than a woman who knows her uniqueness and is living it!
What does living from your uniqueness mean? It means you’re taking the desires of your heart to God and asking him to bring them into fruition. It means serving in your season. It means developing your unique sense of style and taste. It means pursuing your Kingdom purpose.
Isn’t this the message of Proverbs 31? Please, don’t believe for a second that Proverbs 31 is instructing women to be “old fashioned” housewives. Rather, it’s painting the picture of a woman living from her uniqueness! You are allowed to like what you like, even if it’s different.
For example, (from the MSG):
“She senses the worth of her work” — She knows her mission and is focused on it. “She’s quick to assist anyone in need” — She has the servant heart of Christ. “Her clothes are well-made and elegant” — She knows what style best fits and compliments her beauty. “She looks over a field and buys it [to plant a garden]” – She uses her creativity to execute projects. “She’s like a trading ship that sails to faraway places and brings back exotic surprises” – She explores the world around her, finding neat shops, restaurants, destinations, and has fun doing it.
Ahh! Ladies, this is the kind of woman a man longs to fall in love with. Let me explain why:
God created men to have a fundamental desire to work, pursue, and conquer. It’s part of our identity as men. It’s why a bunch of men at NASA spent billions to pursue the moon for no better reason than conquering it with a planted flag.
The world is constantly picking up on God’s universal principles but misinterpreting them. In this case, the world thinks that women must play hard to get to capture a man. I don’t buy that at all. A godly man doesn’t want to play games. What he really wants is to work at the pursuit. He wants to see a woman that knows she’s an original and is going for her purpose. He wants to chase after her and win her heart. He wants to go through God to get to her.
Winning her heart shouldn’t be easy; I will love and value her more when I know I used my creativity and uniqueness to discover her unique intricacies. Moreover, winning her heart isn’t a one-time thing, it’s a beautiful never-ending process.
I see a lot of women wondering why guys seem to be ignoring them. And so they try to help the process along by intentionally going after a guy – or using their body for attention. That’s actually the worst thing they can do. Sometimes, a guy will respond, but it won’t last long because he doesn’t really value the relationship —he didn’t work for her heart!
I am blessed to be pastored by Carl and Laura Lentz at HillsongNYC. Carl often tells the story of what was so attractive about Laura. When Carl first spotted her serving at church, he introduced himself:
“Hey I’m Carl.” (Read: Haayyyy Gurl)
“That’s nice,” she replied, as she kept on walking.
Laura knew who she was and the mission at hand. Nothing was taking her eyes off of her season. She was focused on pursuing Christ, becoming an original, and serving.
God had to interrupt her later to bring Carl into her life. God doesn’t want us to pursue Him for the purpose of receiving a spouse; He wants to give us a “new life” and a whole heart. Then, and only then, can we truly pour out His love on someone else. But even still, knowing God is ultimate the prize.
I often think about my future wife. What is she doing right now? Is she dating someone? Is she taking risks – dominating her season?
If she’s half the person I believe she will be, she’ll have the attention of many guys. I hope she’s so focused on pursuing her Kingdom purpose that she doesn’t make time for their pursuits.
Which leaves me with an interesting question: who will I have to become to pursue her? I know that God is going to have to be in on this. He’s going to have to arrange some supernatural circumstances for this to work.
But, hey… when you surrender everything to God, there is no risk. He has our best in mind, planning out a full, original, and good life for his children! You are allowed to relax, be yourself- who God made you to be, and leave the rest up to Him.
James 4:4-6 MSG “…And what he gives in love is far better than anything else you’ll find. It’s common knowledge that ‘God goes against the willful proud; God gives grace to the willing humble.'”