For years I thought that after finding “the one” I would automatically have less than “one” problem. Or at least my problems would be significantly less important. Probably my biggest problem would be trying to decide where we should go on our fabulous honeymoon or if I wanted paper or plastic bags at the grocery store.

I’m not here to burst your romantic dream, because truthfully finding the one God has for you IS fantastic. But if you want additional truth, no person will ever make any problem that you have disappear.

In fact, by hanging those expectations on your “one” you could potentially create more problems than you had before you started. They are not God. They cannot heal the hurts of your past. They cannot fulfill every need you have every second of every day. I’ll say it again: They are NOT God.

Through most of my late teenage years I bounced from one relationship to the next, hoping that one of them would finally make my future seem a little brighter. I compromised and lied to myself all because of the blind hope that one of my boyfriends would fill the canyons and rifts in my life.

They didn’t. They won’t. They can’t.

Stop it.

If you’re looking for a cure-all in an earthly relationship, it isn’t going to come. Disillusionment will eventually surface when you begin to realize that your problems are still there and some of your old baggage was not properly “checked” just because your perfect someone came along. They are human. They have problems too. It puts unfair pressure on them and sets you both up for failure when the expectation is “fix me and everything else that is wrong”. They can do life with you, but they cannot fix your life for you.

Our relationships here on earth were never meant to be a replacement for a relationship with Jesus Christ. You boyfriend, fiancé, or spouse, is not, and could never be, your Savior. The relationship you have with them was meant to enhance, encourage, challenge, and add to your life, not to fix or save.

Likewise, waiting for “the one” is not an excuse to neglect your relationship with God or put off examining your own heart on the pretense that it will become unnecessary with their arrival. The most important thing in life is to find yourself, your fulfillment in Jesus Christ, not in any man or a woman.

Jesus knows your heart more intimately than any other person ever could or ever will. Whether you are in a relationship or not right now, why not allow Christ to fill in the gaps you have been so desperately trying to fill?

We will never be whole people on our own. We will never be whole even with the “perfect relationship”. The only way we can ever truly be whole is through a personal and intimate relationship with The One who ALREADY saved you 2,000 years ago.

Jesus promised we would have troubles in this life. It is the nature in living in a world that is not truly our home. But Jesus also promised us freedom, hope, unconditional love, peace, and healing amidst any problem or trial. There’s nothing too broken that He cannot fix.


-Coleen York

Coleen York

Coleen York is the founder and editor of She Has Worth. She works as a freelance copywriter and editor, so feel free to hire her so she has employment. Additionally, she enjoys being outside, traveling, dinosaurs, art, Oreos, slurpees, and coffee (but not all together, that would probably be gross). Read more about Coleen in the "Our Team" section of She Has Worth.

More Posts - Website

Follow Me:


Leave a reply